How do you capture in words the bond of friendship that was fostered over a decade? How do you define a relationship based on trust, deep respect and a steadfast admiration for each other’s skills? How do you frame the good times that we have shared over wine, uncontrollable laughter and travels around the world?
Meet Dr. Judi Washburn – friend, confidante, brilliant academic, and my intellectual conscience. And she has been, to me, “one of the guys” – something she wanted no part of, but got stuck with, because it came with the territory.
We decided to do this interview over some fine champagne on a warm Florida afternoon. Only appropriate, given that she has always been the driving force behind the reflections in these pages.
Born and raised in a small farming community in Southern Illinois, outside St. Louis, Judi grew up in a comfortable home. Her Dad, a WWII veteran, was a banker who made it from the mail room to being President of the same bank. I sense that loyalty is part of her own DNA. She had a ‘storybook’ childhood, excluding the trials and tribulations that are a part of all of our lives.
Judi was always a ‘good girl’ and a ‘people pleaser’ – smart, articulate, and a good student. She went to College at Drake, got married, divorced after 17 years, and ended up as a single parent to her beautiful daughter Ali, who she raised single-handedly. “Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done,” she said. I agree. Our children make us weak. Simple as that.
Judi put herself through school – “EIGHT, F^#@ years to get my PhD,” taught at BGSU (Bowling Green State University) and ended up at The University of Tampa (UT) in 2002, seeking a work life balance that we offer, and one that many in academe envy. She is a dedicated teacher who has an uncanny ability to connect with her students, and form life long meaningful relationships with them. Her advise to her students? “Follow your passion, not money. Life is too hard to be in a job you don’t love.”
Our professional and personal relationship blossomed over the years – we developed meaningful programs at UT, consulted internationally, made pretty good money, drank a boatload of great wine together, and traveled extensively around the world. I bought her novel gifts – a set of brass balls (yes, testicles) because of her tendency to cup her hand when she talks. A coffee mug that sits proudly on her desk with a personal message ‘A Bitch with Heart.’ Custom designed by yours truly.
And then, Halloween 2014. “You got a sec to talk?” Unusual as Judi would much rather text. “I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer.” And everything changed. Not sure I realized how important she has been in my life till this dreadful news. She taught me one of life’s most important lessons: OWN IT. She never hid from her diagnosis. In fact she wrote a BLOG about it (www.whatjwsays.com). Her spirit and her positivity showing a strength of character and fortitude that is uncommon.
Judi was particularly touched by her students’ reaction to her diagnosis. Kind, compassionate, concerned. They reached out to her in droves to tell her they were thinking of her. Funny how they react to us when they see us as human.
Looking back, she has no regrets. Her strength shines through in everything she does. “I’ve never met a strong person, with an easy past.” Her motivation to write her blog? Eliminate the gossip, answer the multitude of questions, and OWN IT.
This coming week, Judi heads for surgery. Cancer is in for a rude shock. It has never been up against such a formidable opponent. Tough as nails, with brass balls to boot. I know she will beat this disease, and live a full and rewarding life.
What can we all do? Channel all our collective energy and the dynamic life force from this Universe to send her good vibes. And take a second to say that little prayer for her. I love you, my dear friend, Judi Washburn. God speed on your journey of healing.
Insights: 10 Questions
- What drives you?
Survival - If you had to go to the moon and take a single piece of music with you what would you take and why?
James Taylor’s Greatest Hits - If you were a cocktail, how would you describe yourself?
Something Fizzy (with Champagne)
- Who in the world would you most like to sit down and have a drink with — living or dead?
Mom - Single piece of advice to for young people?
Do what you love. Don’t learn to love what you do. - Who’s career do you envy and why?
Yours (You have reached that position in your life, that you can tell people to go F^#@ themselves. That what I aspire to do!
(editor’s note: NOT TRUE). - When you were 16-years-old, what did you most often get in trouble for?
Sneaking out with the boys. - If there were one word to describe your family life growing up as a child, what would it be?
Interesting. Unsettled. - What is the most important thing you remember about your first love?
(sheepish grin) sorry we can’t talk about this - What would you like your legacy to be?
She told it like it was……
About Hemant Rustogi