I need a break from all this death and suffering. First Judi, then my brother Nirmal, then my sweet 16 year old puppy Emma, and now Michael Truscott. Mike was my mentor, a dear friend, and an icon at UTAMPA. These three stalwarts, and my sweet Emma, helped shape the kind of person that I am today.
I am a little numb, and don’t have the intellectual or emotional fortitude to make sense of all this loss. The tears are dry — they have been for a while. The void in my life continues to grow. The chasm between what was, and what will be seems unfathomable. Even the new normal is no longer new.
I find I am spending more time lost in my head, and even the heavens have poured these past few weeks as if to wash away my tears and my sorrow. I find solace in my writing and in my family. Rohini has been my ROCK. Her unconditional kindness and compassion have been my anchor.
My friend Mark said it well — death, like life, is a part of life. We have all suffered loss and heart break in multiple ways. We each bear our own cross. I intend to bear mine with a little help from the good God above.
About Hemant Rustogi